You asked for it. . .

Donn and Ann H., accompanied by Ann T. (henceforth known as Donn and Ann², pronounced, "Donn and Ann Squared"), came for a brief visit on Thursday. For the second time in as many weeks, relatives have stopped by and wanted to take us out to dinner. I was invited but my answer, both times, was "Hell, no!" Normally, I would have jumped at an offer of free food, but after a day at work, hobbling around on the crutches, I'm exhausted and really only want to sit and have a beer or two with the boot off and my foot elevated.

As Donn and Ann² were leaving, Ann H. said she would visit my site to read the humorous account of how I broke my leg. So, I guess I'd better write it.

The Story

After a Mickey D's drive thru breakfast, I met Larry and Jym at the golf course at 8:30 Sunday morning. We walked through the dewy grass to the tee box and waited for a foursome to get on the green before we teed off.

The first hole it a 382 yard Par 4. It's pretty much a straight shot from tee box to green. The fairway is flanked by two 6-7 foot tall swells that run about 50 yards to a depression in front of the green about 10 feet below the green, and an oak tree to the right of the green. My tee shot sliced across the golf cart and into the trees lining the 9th fairway, about 125-150 yards. Larry wound up in a stand of trees on the left of the fairway on top of the tall hill. Jym landed in the middle of the fairway, with a perfect approach to the green.

I found my ball and decided to try a punch shot through the trees and back into the first fairway. Naturally, I flubbed the shot, and dribbled it about twenty yards foreward. Jym's shot landed on the green, and Larry. . .well, let's just say Larry need a machete to get to his ball. My third shot landed at the base of the green, behind, of course, the tree. Larry's third shot blasted from the trees and sailed clear across the green. Fortunately, Larry was in the Navy and had a good supply of descriptive phrases.

My fourth shot almost sailed over the green to land in the rough. Larry and I chipped up onto the green, me lying 6 and Larry lying 5. We both two putted. Jym, though had parred the hole.

The second hole is a 340 par 4. You have to shoot over a creek, across a creek and down to a broad, almost treeless, little plain that seems incredibly far away. Jym dropped his ball
into the fairway 100 yards or so from the green. Larry hooked his shot into the only thick stand of trees on the hole, near a seasonal creek bed. Normally, on this hole, I put my ball to the right of the fairway between two small (about 6' tall) trees. This time, though, I landed in the fairway, 175 yards from the pin! Larry's second shot dropped into another cluster of cedar trees to the left of the hole, perilously close to the seasonal creek full of rocks. As the creek approached the cart path, the banks have been covered with cement, and there is always a small pool of water right beside the bridge that goes to the green. Jym's second shot dropped just short of the green, close enough to put. I lined up my shot, and hit the ball. It arched into the air and started to descend into thepool of water near the bridge! Dammit! Fortunatly, though, the ball landed on the other side of the creek, bounced off the concrete bank and landed on the green 10 yards from the hole! Praise Jebus!

Jym and I waited for Larry to pitch his way to the green from amongst the shrubbery. Jym chipped his third shot onto the green only inches from the cup. Jym parred, and I two-putted for par. Larry wound up with a 5.

Glowing with pride at how well my game was going, we went to the third tee box, where the foursome before us let us play through.

The third hole is a 475 yard par 5 that I have never parred. From the tee both, you shot across a creek and on top of a bluff at least 40 feet high. Oak trees line the bluff, except for a 30-40 yard gap indicating the fairway. My success rate getting onto the fairway is 60-40%, and 9 time out 10, if I clear the bluff, I slice into the oak trees and windup losing my ball anyway. This was one of those 9 times. From the tee box it appeared as if the ball landed behind the oak trees, perhaps on the fairway of the 5th hole. Jym landed in the fairway again, and Larry sliced into a thin stand of trees beside the cart path.

Naturally, I couldn't find my ball once we got on top of the bluff. I walked up a slicht incline onto the 5th fairway and looked, but couldn't see it. I turned and started back down. My left foot slipped in the dew, and my right toe caught in the grass. I fell foreward and heard the sound of a branch breaking, and screamed as I landed on my face and rolled down the little incline.

I thought, "I broke my fucking ankle!"

Short story made far too long, an ambulance came and picked me up and I spent the next two days in the hospital. I never did get a refund for the 16 unplayed holes. Larry and Jym finished the round and each broke 100. The bastards.

Update!

Since everyone is curious about my ankle, here's the update:

The pain is mostly gone, though I do get some twinges every now and again. However, the selling hasn't gone down much. My toes look like Vienna Sausages, and my foot looks like a baloon.

Next Thursday I'm scheduled to have the screws removed. I don't know if I'll be able to walk or not, but with Oktoberfest around the corner, I hope so.

The idiots at The History Channel

I have been off work for about 15 days now, counting Sundays. One of the surest signs that it's time to go back to work, at least for me, is to dream about it. And last night, I did.

I dreamt I had a dozen voicemails. So, Dr. Freud, what do you think?

It's about time to go back to work. the History Channel has stopped their coverage of World War II and have spent the last couple of days exploring the Bible and prophets like Nostradamus. No doubt a reaction to Hurricane Katrina.

OW!!

I am firmly convinced that orthopedic surgeons love inflicting pain.

I had the staples from my surgery removed yesterday, and it fel like the nurse was pulling 20 hairs on either side of my leg. That took a while to disappear. Then they brought out "The Boot." A steel and nylon contraption, the boot is much lighter than the splint. however, in an effort to get my foot to nuetral, or 90 degrees to the leg, they have to keep pushing up on the ball of my foot. If feels like my toe is touching my nose.

On the 22nd, they will remove the two horizontal screws, and I might be able to walk again! on the upside, I'll get one of those "I have an implant" cards for the airport screeners.

i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this

So last night, at midnight or so, I woke up and realized that I needed to pee. I turned on the lamp beside my bed, scrambled erect with the aid of the crutches, and headed for the bathroom. I appoached the step up into the dining room/Grnadmother's room. I thought I was close enough to try to make it.

The ball of my left foot catches the edges of the step, just under my big toe. My lower body stopped moving. However, my upper body continued to move forward. I fell with a clatter onto the floor hitting my right knee.

"FUCK!" I shouted demurely. "I need some help!" I shouted into the darkness. While Mom and Dad woke up enough to help, I scooted back where I could grab the grab bar next to the door that we installed for Dad last summer. I grabbed hold, and as Mom helped, got back to my feet, or foot, as the case may be. I made my way into the bathroom, my confidence completely shaken. My foot throbbed as I finished my business. As I hopped back to bed, I noticed spots on the floor. my foot was bleeding. I got Mom to bandage it up, all the while I muttered "I hate this. I hate this. I hate this."

This morning, I have a bruise on my knee, a sensitive left toe, and no desire to sit in a recliner any longer.

I hate this.

A premonition?

Have you ever woken up and said to yourself, "something is gonna happen today?"

Me neither.

A week ago at this time I was in the emergency room with a broken ankle. I had been playing golf with a couple of friends. I double bogeyed the first hole, and parred the second hole. On the third hole, while walking down a grassy slope, my shoes slipped, and my right toe caught in the grass. I fell forward and heard a loud SNAP.

So, for the last seven days, I have been sitting on my ass, and going out of my mind. I have been using my vacation time to let my ankle heal. I have enough money in savings to take another week off. After that, I have to start working again.

Shiner 96 unveiling at Oktoberfest

For the last few years, I have volunteered at Oktoberfest in Fredericksburg, Texas as a beer supervisor. (Seems kind of like putting the fox in charge of the chicken coop if you ask me, but the beer's free.) part of the fun of being "on the inside" is learning what beers are going to be on tap.

This year, for the first time anywhere in the nation, the Spoetzel Brewery will unveil Shiner 96, a Märzen beer, traditional at Oktoberfest.

I'm looking forward to this Oktoberfest! Hope to see you there.

The Holt Journeys

(15) Rodney and Jeanne have logged some serious
miles in the last few weeks. They went to New Orleans at the end
of last month, and last week, they went to Chicago to see Shawn
graduate from Navy basic training.

Mom, meanwhile, continues to spend every weekend
in Brownwood taking care of Grandmother. She is planning to make
a change in October. She wants to move Grandmother into our house.
Grandmother will sleep in what is now the dining room. The dining
room will move into the kitchen. Most of the kitchen will move onto
the back porch or the new storage building.

I went to Kerrville once. Dad went out in the back
yard a few times.

On the Ground in N'Awlins

Last week, Rodney and Jeanne went to New Orleans for a little vacation. Since I've let Steve write on this site, it's Rodney's turn. I did some editing. It was one long paragraph. I hope he doesn't mind.

We spent most our time in the french quarter.

Walking.

A lot.

In the humidity. My feet still don't like me.

We ate ate Crescent City Brewhouse (probably the best overall meal, the best shrimp po boy, but a little too expensive to hit more than once), Cafe Du Monde (almost every morning - biegnets YUMMO!!), Cafe Biegnet (great inexpensive full breakfast), Cafe Maspero (Great food, inexpensive no atmosphere), Olde Nawlins Cookery (OK food, relatively inexpensive and on a side street so not busy made this good), Margritaville (The most atmosphere, great food but kinda expensive, can't go here too often. I guess if you don't buy the drinks in the souvenier plastic parrot glass and the souvenier menu, it wouldn't be quite as expensive).

We rode the street car a lot. Most are air conditioned (good for getting out of the humidity) going up Canal Street. The Riverfront and St Charles Srtreetcars are not airconditioned. If you can catch them when they are not super crowded then it's a great way to get around.

We stayed out until 2:00 almost every night walking along Bourbon St. Didn't see any flashers but did see lots of college drunks.

I think we saw and went into every junkstore..I mean tourist trap...I mean souvenier store on Bourbon St. The bad thing is they all sell the same things, at the same price.

We took one of the paddle wheel boats to Chalmet Battlefields Natl Park, made famous by the song, In 1814 we took a little trip... We went to the acquarium, mainly to escape the humidity.

Did I mention the humidity?

It rained about an hour every day just to make sure the humidity level stayed at 100% as the temperature reached 98. We did take an umbrella, only forgot it one day...of course that was the day it rained while we were out.

We took the free ferry to Algiers across the Mississippi from Nawlins, to go to Mardi Gras World. It is where they make floats for Mardi Gras. Harry Connick Jr. is captain of one of the super clubs and his club's float was made and is stored there. It is over 200 feet long and carries over 200 riders. We went to Harrahs one night just to gamble some money away. They replaced coins wih paper tickets, so you don't get to hear the clinking of the coins hitting the tray. We each thought it ruined the fun of the machines. I guess we are not the high roller type we only took $20 to lose and came back with $9.

I'm just glad to be home.

Before we left we bought a vivitar digital camera and a 512 MB card. We were able to take 250 pictures with it, and even a couple of short movies.

I mentioned to Rodney that Sean would have been happy to recommend a cheaper place. When I told Sean that, he replied: "I do know this one place it is a 1/2 star hotel and it is free. It is called My Car, although it is not for everybody. It works for me and barely fits in my price range." I responded: "Let me guess, you save more money by eating at the same place. Eating the doritos in the seat cushions." And his reply: "Hell yeah, I see you have stayed at a similar establishment before."

Good Luck, Discovery

Our New Wal-Mart

The crowd at the church across the street (also known as the most photographed church in town--especially when we're trying to use up a roll of film) was a bit sparse tonight. You see, we got us a brand spankin' new Wal-Mart Super-Center!

This photo was taken before opening day, naturally. I went tonight because I needed some padded envelopes, and they have the best price in town. OMFG! The parking lot was full! There were cars from out of state there! The entire population of Fredericksburg was filling their cart up with Wal-Mart crap. AND THE MAIN STREET WAS STILL FULL!

I wonder where all those folks came from. There's a Super Wal-Mart in Kerrville, and one in Marble Falls. Hell, the ones on the Fredericksburg side of town of both Austin and San Antonio are closer than the one in Marble Falls.

And why was church across the street so empty tonight, you ask?

'Cause every Mexican in town was at the new Wal-Mart!

LORD, I APPOLOGIZE FOR BEIN' A RACIST LIKE THAT, AND BE WITH THE STARVIN' PYGMIES, DOWN THERE IN NEW GUINEA. AMEN!

A quick recap

Lessee, where do I begin?

Dad's on crutches. The doctor thinks the kneecap will heal on its own, so no surgery needed, thank goodness. He's getting around more, mainly because he's tired of sitting on his butt all day. He overdid it the other day. He went out to the patio to order me to turn on the water in the garden. When he got back inside, his knee hurt.

Sean will be getting home at 2 pm on Thursday. He's flying into Austin. We're going to play golf with Rodney and Gary on Saturday, then spend some time at NIOF.

Mom continues trying to get Grandmother to move to a retirement home. Now the pitch is to get into one here so she can visit everyday. Grandmother seems to have taken a shine to the idea and is helping Mom pack up all her "valuables." But she doesn't seem to be taking a shine to actually moving.

Other than that, it's just plain hot!

Darned ol' Year From Hell

On Sunday, Dad was walking out of church when he tripped and fell. By the time he got home, he couldn't walk. We talked him into going to the emergency room where they told him he had fractured his knee cap. So now he's on crutches. The bad thing is, they are a bit too long for him.

Sue and Marla came for a visit on Sunday night. They were on their way back home, and spent the night with us. I had to go to work before they got up so I didn't get to visit too much.

Sean will be coming home for 13 days in about a week. He's looking forward to Night in Old Fredericksburg.

Remembering Dabas

Today I went to Austin with a friend to buy brewing stuff. We had to stop at a PetSmart. He had to buy something. I had to pee. In the bathroom was a chart of dogs from around the world. I managed to find a listing for Catahoula Leopard dogs.

I sure do wish we could've kept Dabas.

It's all I can think about. I keep thinking about laying down in the floor, and seeing Dabas turn and look at me. I swear I could see him smile! And then he would charge me to bite me everywhere.

Here's a picture of what he would have wound up looking like.

(15) I held off as long as I could. I fought the urge for weeks. Then I succumbed. I redid the site. I must confess, I didn't come up with the design. I got it from the fine folks at Entheos. Their link is at the bottom of every page.

Something about their three column layout appealed to me. It would allow me to put ads on one side, and content on the other.

Let me know what you think. Email me at jeffholt at yahoo dot com.

It has been really humid the last few weeks. By the time I walk from the house to the car or the car to the house, my skin is slick with sweat. Since this is Texas, I just have to endure it. But when I was in Japan, there was a great way to cool off.

Whenever I went into a restaurant, after being seated the waitron would bring a small, rolled handclothed that had been moistened and chilled. I would take this cloth and wipe my face and feel instantly refreshed. In the winter, the towels were steamed. After a long walk to a restaurant, the feel of moist heat against chilled skin was almost orgasmic.

On my return to the States, I stopped in Hawaii, where I encountered the towels for the last time.

I think it's high time we demand this service from the restaurants we visit. I know I would return more often to a restaurant that provided them than one that didn't. That would be good customer service.

25th class Reunion

Happy birthday, Rodney!

The Fredericksburg High School Class of 1980 is having its 25 year reunion next weekend. I haven't been to any of the previous reunions. I am usually out of town, mainly in Midland, playing golf with Gary. I may go this year, but I forgot to RSVP by May 20th. Oops.

More about Wal-Mart

(3) I ran across the Wal-Mart Watch site today. As thousands descend on Fayetteville, Arkansas for the annual Wal-Mart shareholders' meeting, they have produced their own report. Here are some quotes from their annual report:

"Year after year, Wal-Mart’s low pay and insufficient employee benefits programs leave hundreds of thousands of Wal-Mart workers to rely on Medicaid, food stamps, and public housing assistance to make ends meet. Call it the 'Wal-Mart Tax.' It costs American taxpayers at least $1.5 billion in federal tax dollars every year, and hundreds of millions more in state and local subsidy costs."

And this one:

Wal-Mart President and CEO H. Lee Scott has earned a reputation as a hardcore cost-cutter who demands that his fellow Wal-Mart executives strive to save fractions of a penny on everything from supplier costs to the cost of toilet paper in store restrooms. But when it comes to his own pay, the Wal-Mart CEO is quite generous. Scott’s $17.5 million in compensation in 2004 was nearly twice the average of $9.6 million for leading CEOs, according to Business Week. Scott raked in about $8,434 per hour, which is $8,424 more per hour than the official Wal- Mart figure for its average worker of $9.68.

I've been watching Wal-Mart for a while and none of this is any news to me. Check out their site. It's an eye-opening read.

Sean's girlfriend

We heard from Sean this weekend. He's actually started checking his email a bit more regularly. He sent us a photo of his girlfriend, Erika. She's a cute looking gal, as you can see from the photo to the right. Dad said, "Hey, she's got dimples! And why is she named Felix?" Then he laughed. Old man humor, I guess. Mom is looking for a frame to put above his marine picture. Me? Military uniforms make everyone look mannish, so I can't tell how hot she is, but Sean has promised to send bikini pictures. She has a cute smile, though. While I'm not doubting her skills, she just doesn't have the look of a trained killer. You know. Like Sean does (see the photo on the left.)

I sent this picture to Sean, with the comment about him looking like a trained killer. He wrote back and said he didn't remember giving me that picture. I reminded him that I copied the pictue CD he brought home. I reminded him of one of life's major rules: Always destroy embarassing pictures. And never let yourself be photographed doing something potentially embarassing. Then I asked when the bikini photos would be coming. "I took a bunch of pics at the beach but it was with her camera so I have to get them from her," he wrote.

"How can you sneak pictures of her butt with her camera? She sees 'em, she'll delete them!" I said. I told about another of life's major rules: Always use your camera for booty shots. And turn off red eye reduction. It doesn't do any good to take a picture from your hip if the little light flashes.

Sean said he told her not to delete anything, but I'm betting she knows the second rule I taught him, and will be applying the first rule shortly.

Norman 2

Our neighbor has another little, cuddly animal in his back yard. I call him Norman 2. Tonight, I snuck out into the back yard to see if I could spot him. He was standing in the shade looking at me. I snapped a couple of long distance shots before he decided to investigate.

He kept staring at me and licking his lips. Now, I'm no animal psychologist, but i suspect Norman wasn't just being friendly. I think he was hoping I had a bottle of milk. Either that, or he thought I might be a good meal.

I had told one of the gals at work that he wasn't as cute as Norman 1, mainly because he is almost black. But he comes darn close.

(17) My uncle Donn has Parkinson's disease. My dad has a touch of it, too, but Donn's case is pretty acute.

A few weeks ago he underwent a new treatment. To make a complicated procedure overly simple: the doctor placed a wire on his brain that short circuits the tremors. Then they had him stop taking his medication. He did real well for awhile, then suddenly his tremors came back with a vengeance. So, I emailed Cousin Steve to see how he was doing. Here's his reply:

I checked in with Dad after his Dr.'s appointment on Wed. He was too tired to come to the phone. I completely understand.

As a result he and mom came by yesterday and he looked as good as he had been since the surgery, but they increased the dosage on the medication where before they decreased it, and he was having a real rough time controlling the other tremors in his body. Again this is a result from a withdraw sympton from the Parkinson medication.

For the first time my Dad put it in perspective yesterday and let us know the real deal in front of my mom who made the comment that Parkinson's isn't just shaking, dad said: "Yeah, it also makes you feel crappy...."

Dad had told me that Parkinson's not only affects tremors etc., it affects the way he thinks. He had a procedure to correct the tremors and was also taking the medication that controls this part of the disease. As with all medications you adapt and as a result have to increase the dosage which runs risks of addiction etc. (Now you know why they banned ephedra from the health/fitness market, it wasn't the ephedra it was the fact you had to keep taking it after adapting and run the risk of heart failure.)

Which brings me to the point of this email: My Father, You Uncle and friend and family member has Parkinson's disease. To this date there is not a cure, but with the help of Deep Scan Brain Stimulation, drugs, my mother and everyone in the family there is no reason why he can't enjoy his life. But Parkinson's will always be in the forefront that is something my mother reminded me this week that we all have to accept. All of us wanted him to be cured with the DBS procedure, all of us want something to make the pain go away and all of us also hope we don't get it.

This is not the case with life and we deal with it the best we can. Dad has been struggling but he looked great yesterday, I'll take him like that anyday. I will also take him when he is shaking and when things are bad (it truly does not bother me to see him that way except that I know for some reason he is embarrassed by it). I love to see him wearing his watch on his left hand, I love seeing him having a conversation, I love seeing him being able to play tennis or work on his computer, things he loves to do. Regardless of Parkinson's I love seeing him, if he is shaking or not. I don't mean to get too mushy but when he was at my house yesterday these were the feelings I had that I wanted to share with you. In my opinion, he has good and bad days, but he is doing just fine. I'll take him either way.

I light of all of this, I have added a link to the Michael J. Fox Foundation. Please stop by and give them a ten spot.

Who Loves Ya, Baby-Back Ribs

I love to cook. Yesterday, I cooked Baby Back ribs.

First I made the rub. Instead of cayenne pepper, I used chipotle pepper. Instead of chili powder, I used DeCoty Chili Fix. It also includes Cumin, paprika, and oregano. I let the ribs sit in the fridge fr two hours in the fridge.

The rest of the recipe went pretty much as described.

How did they taste?

Wonderful!

All you could hear around the table was me moaning in pleasure, "Mmmmmm!"

Bye, Dabas!

Our neighbor found Dabas the Cowdog a home. She went to one of the feed stores in town and announced that she had a cowdog. One guy said he'd like to take him, but his wife would kill him. A customer said he had a ranch and two kids and wanted a cowdog. So last night he picked him up.

I'm glad that Dabas the Cowdog will have a lot of room to run, and some kids to play with!

Dabas the Cowdog

A few weeks ago, Grandmother got a puppy.

Mom took her to the Wal-Mart in Brownwood, and managed to drive past all the RVs taking advantage of Sam Walton's RV park, towads the front of the lot where folks were taking advantage of Sam Walton's Flea Market. If there were the same types of things in front of the Brownwood Super Wal-Mart that I've seen in front of the Kerrville Super Wal-Mart, then you could buy or get for free any type of animal.

As Mom drives past, she says Grandmother asked her to stop, "Please! Please! Please!" Mom said it was just like a kid. (I should mention that Grandmother has Alzheimer's disease.) Grandmother gets out of the car and returns a few minutes later with a puppy. Mom said she couldn't treat her like a child and say, "NO! Take that dog back!" The next day, Grandmother forgot she had the dog. Then she remembered. Then she forgot.

This weekend, Mom brought Grandmother down for a visit. And the dog. By the time Grandmother was ready to go home, she had forgotten the dog was hers. She thought it was ours. So when Grandmother decided she wanted to go home, Mom thought she'd leave the dog here. Grandmother didn't realy notice until she got about halfway home, when she started talking about our dog looking like hers, and that the person who stole her dog must have brought it down here.

Anyway, we can't keep him. So we're taking him to the SPCA. So here's a picture of our temporary dog. We call him Dabas. Dabas is a Texas-German term for idiot, klutz, moron or dope. I'm gonna miss him.

Beer and Barbecue

(3) Saturday morning, I woke with the desire to BBQ. So I went to HEB and bought a brisket. I brought it home, put the rub on it, and put it in the fridge.

Sunday morning, at 9 am, I lit a fire in my smoker. Then I spent the next twelve hours watching smoke waft across the backyard.

There is something primordial, and oddly Zen-like, about smoking food. I wanted to hop around like Tim Allen, grunting and scratching as the meat cooked. And then, as I watched the smoke curl around the carious items in the backyard, I lost myself in a trance-like meditation of cause and effect.

At 1 pm, I opened my first beer. Well, technically the second. I used one in the mop sauce. I spent the afternoon in a haze of smoke and beer.

Which explains Monday. I did absolutely nothing yesterday. Well, I read. But that's about it.

The brisket was good, though.

Fun and Games from the RIAA

Time to rebeat my dead horse.

In 2002, the five largest U.S. record labels and three major retail chains agreed to give consumers $67 million in refunds and donate an additional $76 million worth of CDs to settle price-fixing allegations in a class-action lawsuit filed by dozens of states. California schools and libraries are expected to receive $9 million worth of CDs as part of the deal.

But some Bay area librarians think they're getting stuck with discs the record labels can't sell.

The San Francisco Public Library, for instance, will get 91 copies of a '60s rock compilation ("Feelin' Groovy"), 81 copies of an album by reality TV star Jessica Simpson ("Irresistible") and 73 copies of a "Christmas with Yolanda Adams." By contrast, it will receive only single copies of hundreds of other selections, like jazz great Louis Armstrong's "I Love Jazz." San Jose was scheduled to receive 106 copies of eight different albums, such as Lenny Kravitz's "Lenny" and Ricky Martin's "Sound Loaded." Last year, a school district in the Seattle area received 1,300 copies of Whitney Houston's rendition of the "Star Spangled Banner." And a library in Worthington, Ohio, received 19 copies of an album of Gregorian chants.

So let's see if I understand this: The Recording Industry claims that file sharing caused a loss of sales. At the same time, they settled a lawsuit for $67 million in cash and got the opportunity to clean out their warehouses. Just how many people downloaded the Yolanda Adams Christmas CD?

I discovered a new little trick in PhotoShop that lets me dabble in fine art.

I've always thought that I should try painting, but never really gave it a spin. I mean you gotta buy an easel, canvases, brushes, paints, cleaners, and palettes. My place is small enough without adding more crap I'll only use occasionally.

But this little trick allows me to create fine art without all that paraphenalia. Here is one of my first creations. I call it "Pumpkin House Door."

Now I'll be tweaking every photo I got!

Now a respected member of the IT community.

To bolster my standing in the international IT community, I have co-authored a paper. You can read it here. Let me know what you think.

Actually, it's a joke. Think of the fun you can have with this. Need a promotion at work? Generate a dozen papers and include them on your resume. Couldn't hurt.

I love the move Office Space. While surfing the web, I ran across this quiz to determine which character I am. Here are the results:

Pre-Hyptnotized Peter




What Office Space character are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

I decided to change the logo. Drop me a line and let me know what you think.

Nothing stop the Year From Hell

The Year from Hell™ keeps on going. And going. And going.

Mom came back from her biweekly trip to Brownwood, with a stop in Abilene. Sue is still in the hospital, but will be going home soon. I hope she gets better soon.

We had been planning a vacation this year, but with everything that's going on, I doubt it's going to happen. Since Sue has her own health to worry about, Mom is doing all the Grandmother stuff. Even though Nelda, mom's older sister, is helping out, Grandmother and Nelda are like oil and water.

This can't be good for her, but Mom seems to be doing okay. But she's always kept her emotions pretty close to the vest. I hope she can keep going like this.

Dad came back from his visit with Sue with some sort of sinus infection, or allergy. He's been coughing a lot, and when he's trying to clear his lungs, it almost sounds like he's dying. The other day he had a pretty high fever. Today, he didn't go to church, and spent most of the day asleep. And he doesn't have much of a fever. I hope he's on the upswing.

Me? Well, my sinuses are a bit active today. They've hit my jaw, where the tooth I had pulled a couple of years ago is throbbing to beat the band. And I haven't felt too good today. I wonder if I'm coming down with something. I haven't been sick, except for an occasional hangover, for over a year.

My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy

The upcoming Texas governor's race is going to be interesting. Right now, incumbent Rick "Riding Dubya's Coattails" Perry and Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison are the leading Republican contenders. The election isn't for two years, but the first shots have been fired. And, somewhat predictably, it's about Hillary Clinton.

I first read about this on Fark, the best website in the world. They titled this story, "Texas GOP: "You praised a liberal" "Oh yeah, well you were praised by a Liberal." Slap fight ensues."

Rick's campaign released a video from a ceremony at a Washington D. C. womens museum. Hil and Kay hugged and air kissed. Hil said she is "delighted that Kay is my partner on so many fronts."

Kay's campaign countered by mentioning 1993 letter "in which Perry called Clinton's health care reform efforts 'commendable.' "

Officially, Kay has not announced her candidacy.

What I found interesting in the article is this quote: "We're being very aggressive in everything we do," Perry campaign director Luis Saenz said last week. "And you ain't seen nothing yet."

If I hadn't already sworn to support Kinky Friedman for governor, I'd vote in the Republican primary only to vote against Rick. But I if I want to sign the petition to get Kinky on the ballot, I can't vote in the primaries. In other words, I'm saving myself for Kinky. Now there's a campaign slogan!

It's going to be an ugly couple of years.

The Year From Hell™ continues to roll right along. Lately the only phone calls the family has been making is to see how someone is doing.

First, Donn had surgery this week to see if they can control his Parkinson's disease. Basically, they put pieces of metal across his brain to stop his shaking. According to Ann, they gave him a reverse Mohawk, shaved his head from forehead to back of the neck, shaved some spots on his head for other probes. He was awake the entire time. Ann and Steve said it was kind of funny because when he got out from surgery, he thought he was still in the Air Force. Last we heard, he's doing okay.

Second, Sue went into the hospital with abdominal pains. She has been having problems going to the bathroom. They did some surgery to clear up an infection of her bladder. We heard tonight that they had some of the tissue analyzed and it was malignant. She has colon cancer. We don't know much more, since we heard this tonight.

(22) I've been working on a new short story for the site to be called "Black Star." I have it all plotted, and I am just now fleshing out the bones of it while working on the first draft. About halfway through, I realized it was a bit too much like Star Trek. It's about a ship investigating a spatial anamoly.

Anyway, last week, while trying to fall asleep, I had an idea: What if, instead of a naval vessal it was a private research vessal? It doesn't change the plot all that much, but I think it makes this story a little different from a Star Trek setting.

I'll finish the first draft, though, in the same setting. Then when I rewrite, I'll make the necessary changes. The 6 of you who have been to my short stories in the last couple of years are probably holding your breath with anticipation.

Then, maybe, just maybe, I can work on another story!

The Evil that is Wal-Mart

Early last year, I reported on on a story that Wal-Mart was using sub-contractors to clean their stores that were using illegal aliens to clean their stores. Today, Wal-Mart agreed to pay $11 million to settle a probe by US authorities that they knowingly hired floor-cleaning contractors who employed illegal aliens.

The agreement with the government includes a statement that "Wal-Mart did not have knowledge, at the time the independent contractors initially were hired, that the independent contractors knowingly hired, recruited or employed" undocumented workers.

Now, floor cleaning will be done by Wal-Mart employees.

What I want to know is: how will the $11 million in fines, and the increased floor cleaning costs will be passed on to customers of "The Home of Falling Prices"?

Cabrito & Menudo

Our next door neighbor, Jon, has a ranch. He raises goats and cattle. A few years ago, he had a calf that the mother wouldn't feed. So he brought it home and kept it in his back yard until it was old enough to go back to the ranch. We called him Norman. We don't know that Jon ever named him.

On night, we heard thrashing around in the backyard. Norman had gotten into our yard, and Jon and dad had to herd the little guy back to where he belonged.

This year, he has a couple of goat kids that he brought into town. I guess mom didn't want to take care of them. We haven't named them yet. Mom has vetoed "Cabrito." Last night, I was checking some stuff I'd planted in the garden, and the kids decided to visit. I brought along my camera, and as they climbed up onto Jon's bbq pit next to our fence I took this picture.

Cute little bugger, ain't he?

Idiotic English Firster

(9) Here's a story that I honestly don't understand. A ninth grader is protesting his school's decision to broadcast the Pledge of Allegiance in foreign languages as part of national Foreign Language Week. When the pledge was broadcast in Russian, he objected and was told that if he had a problem he should step out of the room. He did, and said he won't be back for a while.

While I support the kid's right to speak his mind, I don't understand why he's objecting.

This whole thing is supposed to support foreign language studies, which I wholeheartedly support. He said, "When you’re saying the Pledge in a different language which nobody understands, that’s not OK.”

So his argument is that only those who can recite the Pledge in English can pledge allegience to this country? What if they had played an Aramaic version of the Pledge? Is using the language Jesus spoke "not OK"? If not, the Religous Right should be having apoplexy.

It seems to me that Americans should welcome everyone who wants to be free, regardless of the language they speak. If a Russian or a German comes to this country, and wants to pledge allegience, he should be able to do it in whatever language he or she pleases. The language someone speaks shouldn't be a requirement to love this country.

If you agree, check out the school's site, and drop them an email.

Another attempt to seperate you from your money

Sean came home for a visit, and we played golf in Llano on Saturday. We all sucked, so there's no need to brag about the scores.

He brought some pictures of his stay in Japan. I was tickled to find a picture of the Sasebo Arcade. I told him I had been there 21 years ago in December. He also brought home some brochures for some of the places he visited, and I spent Sunday afternoon wishing I could have gone with him,

(4) Last night, I gathered all of the Chasing the Sun files, and collected them into a book. The first of three volumes, this collection tells the first third of the story of Ray, Natalie and Lydia as they explore Japan in the 1980s. If you want to encourage me to continue the story, pick up a couple of copies. Just click on the picture to go to the store.

Nefert**i's B**t - Sanitized for your protection

Shapes of things to come

Ever since Janet Jackson's infamous wardrobe malfunction last year, the FCC has been on a decency rampage. In fact, a bill was recently put before the House of Representatives raising the maximum FCC fine to $500,000, for each offense! Last year, Clear Channel Communications, hardly my favorite near-monopoly, and Howard Stern were fined $75,000 for some infractions. Under this bill, their fine would have been $9 million!!!!

To quote Rolling Stone Magazine's article
on the subject:

"A review of fines levied by other federal agencies suggests that the government may be taking swear words a bit too seriously. If the bill passes the Senate, Bono saying 'fucking brilliant' on the air would carry the exact same penalty as illegally testing pesticides on human subjects. And for the price of Janet Jackson's 'wardrobe malfunction' during the Super Bowl, you could cause the wrongful death of an elderly patient in a nursing home and still have enough money left to create dangerous mishaps at two nuclear reactors. (Actually, you might be able to afford four 'nuke malfunctions': The biggest fine levied by the Nuclear Regulatory Commission last year was only $60,000.)"

In related news, "Saving Private Ryan," broadcast on ABC on Memorial Day, did not violate deceny standards. (Sixty-six ABC affiliates did not broadcast the movie fearing fines from the FCC for the profanity.) Please note that Bono used the "F" word, and that was bad. It's use in "Ryan" was hunky dory, apparently.

What did we learn from this? Cursing on TV is acceptable as long as there is violence.

So in that spirit, here is my version of a recent story about the bust of Nefertiti in Berlin. Fark observed, "Current US political climate will not likely allow display of object with 'titi' and 'bust' in the name." Here is the safe for the American public story:

"Nefert**i's B*st on Display in Berlin

"A 3,300-year-old b*st of the Egyptian queen Nefert**i went on view Tuesday at a new, temporary home in Berlin as the centerpiece of a special five-month exhibition. Germany is restoring the city's five neoclassical museums, which were damaged during the WWII and only partially restored by former communist East Germany.

"The 19-inch high b*st of Nefert**i, with elegantly arched brows and towering dark-blue headdress, was discovered by German archeologists in 1912. It will be featured in an exhibit on art and hieroglyphs through Aug. 2. Its planned permanent home, the New Museum, has stood in ruins since World War II and is scheduled to reopen in 2009."

There! Don't you feel more wholesome not seeing the words "bust" and "tit?" I know I do. Gotta dash! I'm packing for my trip to Lake T**ic*ca, and I need to reread the Const**ution. Maybe I ought to change the t**le of this piece.

C'mon, buy a book!

I spent most of today gathering all of my notes and articles together for the first edition of Historic Texas Breweries. It only costs $19.99, and would be a great gift for anyone interested in Texas history!

My name was on TV!

Whoo Hoo! Just finished watching Iron Chef America, and placed 6th in the interactive game. I got 7532 points! My best finish ever!

New scanner, new skills

Yesterday, I was going to continue scanning our family photos into the computer, but the darn scanner wouldn't work. Windows™ could see it. The scanning software, though, couldn't.

So I drove to Office Max in Kerrville and bought a new scanner. It's a HP Scanjet 4070 that can also scan slides and negatives. So I've been playing with it. I dug out the negatives from my stay in Japan (yes, I'm beating that dead horse again) and scanned in a bunch of pictures. I wanted to share this picture:

I used the retouching techniques I learned in the workshop to make the image pop a bit more. What do you think?

I spent most of the day watching an Advanced Photoshop workshop. I only got 4 chapters in, but I did create something I want to share.

When I was in Japan, I fell in love. Her name was Chiharu. I took several pictures. Here's one of my favorites that I worked on. We went to the nearby city of Omura and walked through the park during Cherry Blossom season.

Boycott the RIAA!

The RIAA has struck again!

According to an AP story, they have sued an 87 year-old dead woman for file sharing. Moreover, the woman never owned a computer, and was comupter illiterate.

The RIAA said, basically, "Sorry. Only meant to blow up that one thing! Sorry, Everyone!" quoting Crow T. Robot in an episode of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. They added that obviously had the wrong woman, and were dropping charges. Ain't that sweet of them?

Remember! Boycott the RIAA!! Don't buy an album
produced by any company that is a member of the RIAA!

The Year from Hell keeps on a'rollin'

(4) The Year From Hell continues to roll right along, with no end in sight.

Even though the doctors have decided Sean has ulcers and acid reflux has torn up his esophagus, he's still coughing up blood. Sean reports that since he's quit drinking, it has slowed down a little.

Now things look bleak for my cousing Doni. Doni is the daughter of Bill and Nelda Gilbert. Nelda is Mom's older sister. Doni has been ill for several years now. She was taken to the hospital earlier in the week. She's been taken off the respirator, and she managing to hang on, but the prognosis is not good. For her sake, and her husband Ricahrd's sake, I hope she doesn't suffer too long. My Uncle William, who lost his wife back in June, has been visiting Richard and Doni every day. He says he understands what Richard's going through. (Have I mentioned lately that he's my hero?)

Finally, just to give life a little spice, Mom has finally decided that it's time for Grandmother to go into the nursing home. So she'll be in Brownwood and Abilene next week going through all of that.

Did a black cat cross our path? All the mirrors in the house are okay, so I know it's not that. Have we not been diligent enough about avoiding cracks in the sidewalk?

My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy

It's official!

Today, Kinky Friedman announced he was running for Governor of Texas in 2006. "Don't worry about my lack of experience," Friedman said. "Trust me. I'm a Jew. I'll hire good people."

Friedman has to collect signatures of 40,500 registered voters next spring to get on the November 2006 ballot, and only those who did not participate in the major-party primaries are eligible to sign. So save your vote in the primary next year, and let's all get behind Kinky!

I'm gonna enjoy the next 15 months!

The banner at the top of this page goes to Kinky's website. I made the banner but stole the slogan from it. I apologize, but they didn't have any banners for me to use.

Health Woes, or, The Year From Hell rolls on and on

The Holt Family Health Crisis begun in July of last year continues. Dad's doing great! Now it's Sean!

Sean got back from Japan last week. While in Japan, he got a liver infection and spent several weeks in his room, off work and visited by the doctors. They finally let him go back to work, and he starts coughing up blood! Since
he's due to be shipped
home in a couple of weeks, he decides not to tell anyone, because he doesn't want to be stuck in Japan.

Back in Beaufort, he goes to the doctor, who strongly suggests that he call his family. Immediately. Because he might not get another chance to talk to us.

The next day, the doctor tells him that it may not be as serious as they thought, but it may be bad enough for him to be discharged from the Corps. So, his October deployment to Iraq, which he has kind have been looking forward to, is now out the window. He has some tests done, and he calls us to tell us he will let us know the results.

I should also mention that in the six months he was in Japan, he emailed us three times. In the week after he got back, he emailed me five times.

Now it's a week later, and the emails have stopped. We know he was supposed to have gotten the test results back. So we called Rodney. Rodney said that the latest diagnosis is an ulcer. He said that all the blood thinners (read: beer) that Sean was taking had aggravated it, hence the blood! And now he's not being discharged, but being deployed to an aircraft carrier.

You now have the setup for the rest of this entry, except that when Dad was sick, he was diagnosed with alcoholic pancreatitis, despite the fact that he drinks maybe two alcoholic drinks a month. Maybe.

I tell Gary this and he says, "Hell, if he got that from what little he drank, imagine what we’ll have!!!" So I email Gary the latest news about Sean. I suggest that we are screwed, and add, " I guess we'll be outside the detox center waiting on Dad and Sean. 'Course, we'll have a keg." Gary writes back, "Man, we are screwed. I think I may give up the sauce.............someday."

I responded, "Yeah. Me too. Someday. After an Oktoberfest."

Wrecked 'em? Hell, I kilt 'em!

I spent the weekend working on kilt 2.0, as I've come to call it. I was a bad boy Friday night and drank too much, so I sat in my recliner nursing my hangover and sewing.

I had to repleat the darn thing several times, because I either had too many small pleats, or too few large pleats. Then I hand basted the pleats. Next I have to figure out exactly where the under apron is going to wind up, and the I need to get the over apron lined up. Then I can figure out the new way to close the kilt.

As much as I like the snaps I used on my other kilt, it's too difficult to get them placed on the aprons. I'm thinking about a couple of nylon straps with plastic buckles to give it kind of a military look. Of course, I gotta find the straps and buckles!

Hook 'em Horns!

(22) Apparently, the folks in Norway are upset with President Bush. It has nothing to do with the Patriot Act. It has nothing to do with the suspension of habeas corpus in regards to the Quantanamo detainees. It has nothing to do with the quagmire in Iraq. No, they're upset because Bush is a satanist.

See, during the Inauguration parade, the University of Texas marching band came by. The Bushes, former Austin residents, showed their loyalty by flashing the "Hook 'em Horns" sign. In Norway, heavy metal fans use the sign as a salute to Satan, and as a greeting to each other.

This whole horns thing has been going on for a couple of weeks, and the gesture, first used by my fellow UT Alum Jenna Bush (Does she get calls from UT asking for money?) at a black tie dinner in Austin, has even been misinterpreted as American Sign Language for "bullshit," up in New York City ("NEW YORK CITY?!").

Although, I'm sure there are folks at Texas A&M and at Michigan who might agree with those interpretations.

I'm a glutton for punishment

I've started my second kilt. This one is going to be in Desert Storm camoflage. So, on Monday morning, I cut the fabric, and began hemming the material. 'Cause once you pleat, it's too late to hem. I hemmed it by hand. It only took about 4 hours. I spent the next 4 hours pleating.

By 5 pm, I had pleated everything, and tried to see if I did it right. Of course I didn't. Somehow, my pleating measurements were off, and the kilt was about 10 inches too short. That means I have to redo the pleats. But after spending 9 hours working on it on Monday, I didn't want to mess with it any more.

So on Saturday, I will re-pleat, trying to get more length in the waist. Wish me luck!

Give me Your Pennies!

(16) Everyone who knows me is aware that I have several hobbies, and would like to have six or seven more, if I had the space.

My current hobby is to collect one million pennies. But I have a problem. I need help collecting these pennies. And I need your help. Here's all you need to do: Give me your pennies! Box 'em up and ship 'em to me. Hell! Send 'em COD if you want! I don't care. I want your pennies!

I'll put a graphic in the column on the left to let you keep track of my success.

Thanks in advance!

Our L'il Leatherneck called

(12) As you may or may not know, Sean isn't much into reading, unless there's a box score at the bottom of the page. Naturally, his dislike of reading translates into a dislike of writing.

For example, he sent us three or four pictures from Japan. His entire message was, "Hey. Here are some pictures." He didn't tell us us what was going on in the pictures, or where they were taken.

I write letters, send email, and it's like they drop off the face of the Earth. I go to the Iwakuni MCAS website and read their camp newspaper, the Tori Teller looking to see if he did anything noteworthy. I keep reading it looking for Seans's name. So far, nothing. He's either been good, mediocre or hasn't been caught.

Every month or so, he'll give us a call, and tell us what's going on, and chats for an hour.

He calls Rodney a bit more than he does me, naturally, since he's his dad. But Rodney's almost as bad about writing as Sean. We called Rodney to let him know Donn and Ann will be visiting, and Dad had to ask if he had heard from Sean.

When he was in Pensacola, he was the same way. He spent a couple of weekends a month in New Orleans, and even went to Mardi Gras. When COPS is at Mardi Gras, I scan the crowd and the perps to see if we can see Sean. (He told us once that took a bunch of pictures that he later claimed were lost. Yeah, right. They're probably incriminating.)

Anyway, according to Dad, Sean told Rodney that he will be in Thailand for a couple of weeks helping with tsunami relief. He had orginally thought he'd be back in the States now, but it looks like February. Of course, this is all a bit vague, since I'm getting the report third hand.

If we could only teach that little jarhead to use email!

Off to work he goes!

Well, Dad started dring the school bus again. He left the house at 6:15 am and was back by about 8:30 am. When I asked him how it was, he said it wasn't too bad, but I expect he had a really good nap before he went back for the afternoon run.

Iwo Jima +60

(3) Happy New Year everyone!

Soon it will be time to honor the heroes of "The Greatest Generation" once again. February will see the 60th anniversary of the landing at Iwo Jima. The National Museum of the Pacific War, in Fredericksburg, Texas, will host the official commemoration of the event on February 19-20. On Saturday, there will be a Heroes Parade, where veterans of the campaign will ride along Main Street in WWII era vehicles. Then, out in Doss, Texas, there will be a reenactment of the flag raising on Mt. Suribachi.

I've been reading The Battle for Iwo Jima by Robert Leckie to become familiar with the battle, and it's been a real eye opener for me. Another great book is Flags of our Fathers: Heroes of Iwo Jima by James Bradley. You can get those at Amazon.com by clicking the link on the left.

I hope everyone can get to Fredericksburg to honor the men who risked their lives for our freedom. See you in February!

The Tsunami

I've been following the news about the tsunami in the Indian Ocean. The devastation has been horrific. Whole cities are gone. Islands completely wiped out. Sumatra has lost one-third of it's population. One-freakin'-third of their population is gone. The death toll is approaching 150,000. Now that's something to think about this New Year's Day.

The Great Pie Experiment Reloaded

I learned my lesson about adding chipotle powder to sweet potato pecan pie. I was going to redeem myself this time!

On Tuesday, I got out the recipe and made the dough. The recipe calls for half a beaten egg. The other half is used in the sweet taters. I didn't want to waste a whole egg, since I would be making the filling a day or so later, so I used Egg Beaters, which is an egg substitute using egg whites dyed yellow.

I tried rolling the dough, and it cracked and split. I folded it over, and managed to get a pretty nice dough. I tasted the trimmings, and thought it tasted a bit bland. No fat from the yolks, I guessed. Oh well.

On Wednesday, I made the pie. Since I had already used Egg Beaters for the dough, I thought I would use the rest in the pie. Mix, mix, mix. Bake, bake bake.

I checked the pie about halfway through the cooking time, and was reminded of that line in Jaws when Roy Scheider first sees the shark and says, "We're gonna need a bigger boat." (That is a catch phrase that we've been using around the house since we saw the movie in the theater in 1975.) The pie topping had risen at least an inch above the edge of the pan. Hmm.

When the pie was removed from the oven, some of the topping had spilled over the side. (I had the foresight to put the pie on a sheet pan covered with foil.) As Dad and I looked at it, I realized the problem. The Egg Beaters are all whites! I had made a sort of meringue!

So take a lesson from me. The sweet potato pecan pie is delicious. Just follow the recipe.

Miss Victory and Lady Liberty!

I should have raked the leaves. I should have cleaned off the back porch. But, no, I drew. And because you are such faithful readers, you get to share it with me! Think of it as an early Christmas!

This is an homage to a Jack Kirby cover on The Invaders #16. The main characters are mine, but the layout is Kirby's. For those of you who aren't aware of it, Jack Kirby created most of the Marvel heroes popular today: Captain America, Daredevil, Spiderman, Thor, Hulk, and the Silver Surfer.

Miss Victory and Lady Liberty are WWII heroes. Think of them as Batman and Robin with boobies. No need to tell me how much you like it. I know you'd be lying.

We Heard from Sean!

(17) We had news of Sean last night. Rodney called and said that Eunavae had called to tell him Sean was real sick. According to Rodney, he has a fever, sore throat and an enlarged liver. We were wondering if it was his hepatitis coming back. Anyway, Eunavae didn't have any more information and said we would have to wait until he calls us.

If it's not one thing it's another.

A Lucy Moment

I was putting the ice cream into the pantry, after serving myself a bowl, when I came to my senses. A pantry isn't the proper place to store frozen goods, I know, and I quickly checked the room to see if anyone was watching.

That was a sitcom moment. You know, like a scene from "I Love Lucy," or "Three's Company." Something so silly, that it would generate a huge laugh from the studio audience.

Everyone has them. The other day Dad baked a pizza for me to have when I got home for lunch. When I cut into the pizza, I noticed he had left the cardboard circle on the pizza. As Homer Simpson would say, "Mmmm, doughy." Fortunately, I didn't cut all the way through the cardboard, or we would have had a true sitcom moment when I tried to chew through the paper.

Some people call these senior moments, but I'm not a senior yet. But I think I have figured out the cause. (Hang on! There's not much transition here!)

When I was 18 (back when the legal drinking age was 18, natch) and up until I hit my 30s, it wasn't uncommon that on my days off I would start drinking at 10 or 11 am. I could drink all day, well into the night, and wouldn't have too much of a hangover. Nothing aspirin and an Bacon, Egg and Cheese biscuit from McDonalds, or a breakfast croissant from Jack in the Box, couldn't handle, anyway. Today, of course, my system has lost its resiliency, and if I start drinking too early (say before 4 or 5 pm), I'll be queasy the entire next day, no matter how much fast food I consume.

This happened Saturday. I raked the front yard in the morning, and by 1 pm, I figured Ideserved a beer. I had purchased a case of beer the day before to last me through the weekend. By 11 pm, I had all but finished the case and went to bed. ("24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?" --Stephen Wright) Lord, was I nauseous all day Sunday. I spent the entire day in my recliner, sleeping it off. By 8 pm, I was feeling much better, thank you. On Monday, I put the ice cream in the pantry.

I understand the sitcom moment, now! It's the beer.

See, alcohol destroys brain cells. ("Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me, so just get me through this so I can go back to killing you slowly with beer." --Homer Simpson) Memories are stored in the brain cells. Therefore, it was all the beer I've ever had that caused me to forget that ice cream belongs in the freezer, and leaves me scratching my head as I stand in front of a closet wondering what the heck I was looking for.

A tribute to "Dimebag" Darrell Abbot

(12) In Columbus, Ohio, Nathan Gale went to a club shot and killed "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott while he and his band, Damageplan, was performing. As horrible as the crime was, I am not a fan of Abbot and his music. That's not to say I wouldn't like it--just that I am not familiar with it.

My cousin Steve, on the other hand, was very familiar with his music and was profoundly affected by his death. He sent me an email to express his feelings about it, and, with his permission, am reprinting it here. I thought it was very moving and wanted to share it.

Just so you guys now, I have been very upset over
what happened in Ohio and I think it is important that something positive
come from Dimebag, I loved his playing as much as Randy Rhoads! So in case
you didn't know.......

Hey-

It is a Friday night and I am home alone drinking beer
(Coors lite, Dimebag's favorite) and I had to tell someone that could appreciate

this: the next generation of guitar players!

I loved Dimebag Darrell (Damageplan, Pantera), he was
one of the best guitar players I ever saw or heard! Cheers to him and I
want to introduce you to him, as the way I knew him. Don't believe the crap
you here, Dimebag was special and unfortunately for us as guitar players,
he is gone.

I saw Pantera about 4 times, I also bought and read
articles he posted in Guitar World since 1994, and Alex was 4 years old
at the time. He was an excellent guitar teacher and I am going to photocopy
those articles and send them to you. He knew how to explain things in a
cool way, how? By showing you fun stuff and explaining it in a simple way.

In 1994, an album came out by the name of Far Beyond
Driven. I had already heard their second album Vulgar Display of Power,
which was not doubt a classic like Back in Black, Paranoid and Van Halen,
the music punched you in the face as it portrayed on the album's cover (a
guy getting punched in the face!) DRIVEN was their third album and I, like
everyone else wanted to hear it...BAD! When I did, they literally made it
sound like someone was driven far beyond vulgar power! Sounds kooky but
that album ripped asshole! They were intense and super, super talented.

These guys were special like Metallica in the late
80's. Metallica was the best metal band around until they seemed to fade,
my friend and fellow guitar player Will Merkle handed me a copy of Vulgar
and said "I think these guys are better than Metallica!" Pantera
first released an album called Cowboys From Hell in 1991, Pantera fans refer
to this album, as CFH and Dimebag would sign autographs with those initials
even up until he died. When I first heard CFH I liked it, but the singer
was trying some Judas Priest screams and honestly NO ONE could really do
that except Judas Priest. But the guitar! The guy was a shredder! Jammed
his ass off, played loud and fast and the music began to form a METAL GROOVE
that became obvious on Vulgar Display of Power. He was playing solos when
no one else was in the time of Nirvana and grunge.

Dimebag was the one who not only was playing the best
rock, heavy metal guitar but he was like family, he said cool things in
interviews and I could really relate to his music, it was very aggressive
and I loved it! In a time where Seattle Grunge was popular, the only metal
albums I really bought in those days were Pantera.

As far as guitar players go he was very vocal about
whom he liked, he loved Ace Frehley/Kiss, Judas Priest (Glenn Tipton and
KK Downing), Black Sabbath and a guy by the name of Randy Rhoads. As you
can tell, we liked the same stuff; I felt a connection with the guy. Yeah,
yeah he played like Eddie Van Halen too, but who didn't? But that is the
point of this letter; EVERYONE copied Eddie in those days, now everyone
will copy Dimebag. This guy told the world his music was metal that is my
favorite style therefore I loved his open arms approach to heavy metal music!
I feel. ...very empty and sad when I heard about his death. He was kick
ass, and the guitar world is the only group that can really understand.

Here are the facts:

Dimebag Darrell Abott grew up in Pantego, Texas with his brother Vince,
aka Vinnie Paul, the drummer and certified bad ass that played drums for
him during Pantera and Damageplan years. "Riggs" was the nickname
Dime gave Vince. Incidentally, the name 'Dimebag' was Darrell's second stage
name. He originally listed himself as 'Diamond' Darell on CFH and Vulgar
Display of Power he officially became Dimebag after that.

When asked about it in a magazine I read, he said "Dime,
Dirtbag, Diamond, Dimebag whatever you want." He was very easy going
and his guitar world articles were called Riffer Madness. Ok obviously he
made several references to Pot, but he was a serious drinker, the rumor
in those days that there were two bands you wanted to avoid on the road,
Slayer and Pantera because they will make you drink and drink you under
the table!

They were boozers big time! They also like all dudes
shared a fondness for hot chicks and to this day they own a couple of strip
bars in Dallas Texas. Yes, unfortunately their favorite football team was
the Cowboys!

Back to the band, in the very beginning Pantera was
originally a glam band. Yup, Bon Jovi all the way, however, they released
an EP (mini album) called Power Metal. Don't let the spandex and big hair
fool you; these boys from Texas could play! Most bands were from Los Angeles
or New York and then Seattle, but not Texas! So they got signed by a major
record label and recorded a phenomenal record called COWBOYS FROM HELL!
Some people argue that it was Dimebag's best guitar playing to date.

The only brother guitar/drummer siblings before them
to have a #1(Far Beyond Driven) record were Edward and Alex Van Halen. Therefore
by family genes, with musician blood, the Abbotts (Darrell and Vince) were
destined for glory. Their father Jerry Abbott was a country music songwriter
who owned a rehearsal/recording studio his sons grew up in and learned everything
about music. That was the deal; if they learned music theory and the rules
that applied they could use the studio. Dimebag was the first to tell you
in his articles for Guitar World you need to know music theory and how do
you do that? YOU TAKE LESSONS!

Darrell, just like Hendrix made a guitar famous. He
won a guitar in a contest made by Dean a bad ass US made guitar that I had
seen Sammy Hagar use before. It was unique it had three points on the body
and a great pitchfork headstock. Dimebag was the one who made it special,
I don't know the name of the model, but I'll send a pic with the lessons.
He won it in a guitar contest growing up in Dallas or pigs knuckle Texas,
but he used that same instrument on most of the albums for Pantera until
he got a guitar endorsement from Washburn.

The guitar is significant, The Dean he played in question
was dark blue and had lighting bolts extended through the three points on
the body and had a picture of the band kiss in makeup on the end. Just like
Stevie Ray Vaughan another guitar player from Texas relied on a 1959 Fender
Statocaster, just like Angus Young used the Gibson SG exclusively Dimebag
used this one until they started making them for him at Washburn.

Let's put it this way: If a guitar company makes a guitar for you, then
you're really good!

In 1994 Far Beyond Driven debuted #1 in that year,
on billboard pop charts, an album Dimebag wrote probably 90% of! Vinnie
and Darrell were hands on musicians and unlike most musicians in this time
period they knew everything about recording music. They eventually built
their own studio at Dimebag's house and started recording Pantera albums

there after Driven. They recorded an album called The Great Southern Trendkill
and that one was by far my favorite Pantera album to this day! I mean, right
when you think they couldn't play anymore heavier or faster they fooled
you and jammed even harder! Dimebag was always trying to get better and
play as hard as they partied.

I had to see them, they headlined like in 1995 at a
place called Merriweather Post Pavilion in Maryland. Sepultura blew them
off the stage back then, but in 1998? HOLY SHIT! I saw Pantera deliver the
craziest live show I had ever seen!!!!!!!!!! The CROWD! LITERALLY TORE THE
PLACE UP! At Nissan Pavilion, in Bristow, VA. I will never forget that,
besides the fact they jammed 10 times better than the first time I saw them!
They had the crowd tearing grass out of the ground! I mean it looked like
birds in the sky, because people were literally ripping sod out of the grown
and throwing it. The cops broke out the riot gear to stop it and to this
day I have never seen a show like that! They had the craziest mosh pit going
and I have been in hundreds of them, that one was the scariest by far!

Did I see them again? Yes and let's put it this way,
they were destroying something great after 1998, they lived hard, but it
was catching up with some members of the band and with all the metal egos,
the band by this time had side bands and projects and the singer took a
part time project and made it full time, he left. Pantera was no more! Just
like that, don't blink a music ass kicking' machine split up! They were
special, NO ONE delivered the goods like they did, and Pantera was without
a doubt one of the best Heavy Metal bands of all time! One of the best bands
ever that I paid money to see! I loved their live show so much I would work
out or lift weights in the late 90s to the same cd over and over, their
only live one called 101 Proof Live! I had the tape, wore it out! I have
the cd then I wore it out and it is all scratched up! I have never done
that with ANY other album, I have never wore out the tape AND cd of the
same album.

The break up happened because Phil Anselmo, the singer
a guy who is a HUGE Asshole, but he had just as much to do with Pantera
as Dimebag did, but if you ask me? IF someone wanted to blame for the breakup
of Pantera, BLAME PHIL! He plays in a band called Super Joint Ritual and
I know, I was at the Ozzfest in 2004, they sucked! But he left Pantera and
refused a reunion or talk of because he wanted to have Superjoint a very
angry, grungy, loud, but no where near the level of Pantera and here is
the truth: Superjoint has 2 guitar players and the two of them together
cannot play like DIMEBAG! Dime and Vinnie formed DAMAGEPLAN and played the
same super heavy, dynamic timing, angry, loud music they knew how to play.
The problem is DAMAGEPLAN would always be compared to Pantera and they were
just trying to do what they knew, but people had already heard it in Pantera.
However, Dimebag was still coming up with crazier guitar leads and when
I first asked a friend about what he thought of DAMAGEPLAN he said, "
I think they kick ass!" You could tell Dimebag was not ready to let
go and he wrote an article in guitar world about how he didn't know what
would happen to Pantera either but he and Vinnie Paul had to move on.

Dimebag always played loud, flawlessly, and wailed
guitar solos when no other punk ass band would! He had HUGE BALLS as a guitar
player and lived life the same. He drank Coors lite and a little secret
Pantera official drink called: BLACK TOOTH GRIN. Seagram's 7 whiskey with
a splash of coke, they drink it like shots. Funny thing, I would ask bartenders
if they knew what it was in other cities I went to and they actually did!

He was phenomenal. Great songwriter, exceptional lead
guitar player and a real energetic guy that I have no clue why someone would
want to hurt or kill. I idolized him, being married now, job, house payment
like the rest of America; I want to be like HIM! You ask me what I want
to do with my life? I want to play guitar like DIMEBAG!

He had a huge respect for other guitar players playing
the same type of music the same my current Metal hero Zakk Wylde of the

Black Label Society, Ozzy's right hand man. Ironically, they became really
good friends and I was happy because I felt like I knew both of these guys
and they actually hung out with each other. Zakk posted at 1am the night
DIMEBAG was murdered. He posted "OUR BROTHER DIME WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS
HOW WE ALL FEEL TONIGHT" That was all I had to see and at 34 years
old, I started to cry like a 4 year old. He meant that much to me.

DIMEBAG was killed on stage Wednesday 12/8/2004 in
a club North or close to Columbus Ohio shortly after the band hit the stage,
the killer walked up and shot Dimebag 5 times in the head. For god sakes
how can anyone do that to someone else but especially DIMEBAG a living guitar
legend that loved everyone! He was killed on stage in front of his own brother
and there was nothing anyone could do.

The following websites listed memorial messages and
pictures they had of him: Black Label Society, Motorhead, Slipknot, Anthrax,
Kittie, Killswitch Engage, Drowning Pool,Washburn guitars, Randall Amplification,
Guitar World Magazine Online, Ozzy Osbourne, Zakk Wylde, Soulfly, Sepultura,
Kiss, VH-1 and Rolling Stone Magazine.

He was obviously real cool and I have been drinking
to him all night, VH-1 played their first video Cemetery Gates and I chugged
a beer when the guitar solo came up, swear to god I haven't done that in
years. I want you to know I was dying to tell someone about him, but no
one gives a crap because violence is the norm. People will make up shit
and say "just another metal burn out" they have no idea how wrong
they are and what a wonderful guitar player we lost. Dime represented aggressive,
loud, violent music. My mother used to always warn me about the consequences
of violent music, I never once listened to her about that until now. Pantera's
music was violent and I guess a crazed fan ended up killing the guy that
wrote most of it. Read this line twice if you have to: NEVER TAKE THE MUSIC
SERIOUSLY! It is supposed to be fun! Sure you can take your guitar playing
seriously, but don't believe the shit they spew out! Phil's new band Super
Joint Ritual has Pentagrams (signs of devil worship) and pot leafs all over
their cd cover and that is the wrong message to you guys. Don't believe
the hype those guys do that shit to sell cds and it all started when Kiss
dressed up like clowns! Don't believe the hype, but listen to the music
and learn from it.

It really bothers me; I feel the rest of the world
doesn't care. They did the same when Layne from Alice In Chains died (friend
of Dime's) they gave more attention to the dumb chick in TLC and now? Layne's
music, Alice In Chains is in full rotation 24/7 in every major city in the
country, go do it, right now. I bet you $20 you can turn on a radio station
somewhere and find an Alice In Chains song. Dimebag will be the same, but
if you are a guitar player? I have more, I have some cool shit to show you,
the way he played his ass off and tried to teach it to us, as a guitar player....
I feel an obligation to share this with the next generation. By the way,
Pantera has recorded two Black Sabbath covers: Planet Caravan and Hole in
the Sky. When everyone else did Paranoid and War Pigs, these guys tried
to do the tough stuff, they could do it because they had Dimebag Darrell
Abbott.

SRH

12/11/2004

"Stronger than All"

Far Beyond Driven

A Gray Hair?!

(8) I was trimming the beard the other day and noticed a few gray hairs! Bad enough that Sean turned 21 the other day, but now this?

Actually, I'm not too upset about the beard. I'm more upset about Sean turning 21.

Seriously, though, I have always thought salt and pepper beards looked good, so I'm looking forward to the progression. Here's a close up of all three gray hairs in my beard!

There are two on the right, and one on the left. Okay, so it's mostly pepper, and hint of salt. (I don't know why it looks like I have a skin rash in this photo.)

The Great Pie Experiment

Rodney said he would have Thanksgiving at his house. He said he would cook the turkey, and I could cook the sweet potato pecan pie. Ever since we went to Louisiana and ate at K-Pauls, the sweet potato pecan pie has been a staple at all of our holiday meals. However, Dad usually cooked it. He would let me buy the ingredients, and wait maybe 15 minutes before he would make the dough. As soon as the dough was done, he would start on the taters, and before you knew it we had pie!

This year, I was going to have to cook it. 'Kay.

The night before I made the pie I watched the "Good Eats" sweet potato episode. Alton Brown made smashed
sweet potatoes using chipotle peppers.

The wheels in my head started turning. This, by the way, is usually never a good sign.

While making the sweet potato filling, my mind drifted to the cabinet above the stove, where I stored chipotle powder. Visions of that smoky flavor drifting through my mouth kept distracting me. Before I knew it, I had opened the cabinet, opened the chipotle seasoning and sprinkled in about 2 teaspoons. No one, I thought, will notice.

As I finished assembling the pie, I kept tasting the filling. Slowly I realized that my mouth was tingling.

Crap!

The pie was hot!

Mom was gonna be pissed!

Anyway, I made the pie. One for Thanksgiving and one for us, since I made too much filling.

I had hoped the heat would have mellowed while the pie sat, but it didn't. The pie wasn't flaming hot, mind you. It was a heat that built and left a lingering sensation in the mouth. I warned Mom, who said the pie didn't taste anything like sweet potatoes. After that first bite, she never had another. I took the pie to work, and one of the girls said she couldn't decided if she liked it or not. She asked me if I had ever had hot pepper ice cream. I said I hadn't but I had tried Ed's Cave Creek Chili Beer and I knew what she meant.

Well, long story short, Rodney admitted the pie had a kick, but never said if he liked it. Come to think of it, I don't think I ever said if I liked it.

I guess I won't be making the pie next year.

The Holt Arts and Craft Desk

Just so you don't get the wrong idea, I am not obsessed with my kilt, or my comic (That's Chasing the Sun. Chapter Nine will be up soon!). Over the weekend, I designed some furniture!

That's right!

I created the Holt Art and Craft Desk™, a contemporary piece that will fit in any home!

I have posted the design sketch here.

The drawing table portion tilts up to 30 degrees, and the drawers can be built on the right or on the left. (They are on the left in the drawing because that's the way my drawing table is set up now.

I originally thought the drawing top would be able to adjust from 30 degrees to 80 degrees, just in case I ever wanted to take up painting.

The desk top would be covered with a self-healing mat, available at most art supply houses.

If any Norm Abrams wannabes would like to build the desk, drop me an email and we can discuss licensing arrangements.

As long as you build me one!

Kilt Update

Well, my prototype kilt is almost finished. I haven't put pockets on it. in fact, I am rethinking the idea of a pocket on the kilt. I'll keep you posted.

So what do you think?

My next kilt will be in desert camoflage fabric, and the one after

Thanks to Photoshop, Here's what the kilts might look like:

How many people think I have too much time on my hands?